Why Do I Value Relationships?

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching” Hebrews 10:25

Relationships matter to God. He made that very clear when he chose to make Eve as a help mate for Adam. And from there arose the idea of family, and from family the idea of community. God has always meant for us to be together, whether in a church body or another form of small group or community.

But yet, so many people in the world today think they are better off tackling life alone. Why is it that too often we feel that relationships don’t matter? Why do we hole up and convince ourselves we don’t need anyone else to know us on a deeper level?

If we want to have relationships and success, we have to put our heart out there. Sometimes people will stab it, or take advantage of it, or just be downright mean – but the relationships overall are what matter. If you are humble and quick to forgive, you’ll be able to grow and nurture lifelong relationships that don’t crumble by the weight of little hurts. (After all, we are all human and we all make mistakes. In fact, it seems its those who we love the most that we hurt the most. But forgiveness can right those wrongs and retain those relationships.)

What can be even more harmful is when we do have others around us who love and care for us, but we chose to put other things ahead of spending quality time together.

There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.” Ecclesiastes 4:8

Working harder, longer hours; never being disconnected from our phones and emails; constantly checking social media…all these things are hinderances to spending quality time with people.

So why do we neglect our relationships or chose not to take the time to build new friendships?

5 Reasons Why People Go Through Life Alone

1. Naivete – We think we’re supposed to do life alone because it’s a sign of strength. We don’t know that God intended for us to walk this road with companions to love and support us.

2. Temperament – We think “this is just the way I am,” and because we don’t get along with others easily, we chose to avoid them. But the truth is, God gave every one of us gifts, talents and love to share with the world.

3. Fear – We are crippled by the fear of rejection; our own nervousness, and the thought of not fitting in holds us back from taking the first step. These feelings of self doubt and not being good enough are not the way God made us!

4. Past experiences – We let past betrayals hold us back, always being reminded by the enemy that if we enter into a relationship, we’ll be hurt like that again. But these are just roadblocks that the enemy uses to keep us from living the way God intended, in close relationships with people who will lift us up and bring our living to a new level. The enemy knows wounds caused by people are the biggest, deepest wounds, and he uses them to hold us back. Don’t let him win!

Will you choose the debilitating pain of separation, or the growing pains of reconciliation?

Do you value relationships, or keeping score of wrongs?

5. Busyness – We allow the world to set the agenda for our lives and often times we say “yes” to too many things (way too many!). This busyness distracts us from taking time for relationships and spending quality time with our families, spouse, kids and friends.

We need to be very careful of how we prioritize our time and what distractions we allow into our lives.

“…Since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others.” Romans 12:5

The church body is sometimes less of a relationship place than the local bar or workplace. There are times when we don’t feel as connected to our church as we do other areas in our lives, and that is something we have to change. God truly wants us to have relationships in every arena of our lives, but in no way more than in the church body.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

Let’s think about that…God forgives you when you confess your sins, but healing comes from confessing to friends.

This happens in Small Groups.

Small Groups at Harvest Church are various get-togethers with friends doing something you all mutually enjoy (you do not have to be a member of Harvest Church to attend…or even a practicing Christian). Our goal is to build deeper relationships within a more intimate, frequent setting than we can expect to have in the larger church body. There’s nothing better than regularly gathering with the same people to share life (and have fun) together.

Are you ready to take a step of faith and make a new relationship? Don’t let the 5 reasons hold you back any longer.

Click here to view Fall 2014 Small Groups.